elegantwaste's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- roller coasters. or something. god, i don't know what i'm talking about here. Look at all that shines. A middle school teacher of mine would go on and on about the roller coaster of life - you know, you'd have your ups, and your downs, and the ride in between was never boring. Except actually, climbing up in a roller coaster is kind of dull. Sure, there's the anticipation of the fall, and the height, but it goes pretty slowly at first. But I'm talking about your standard, old-fashioned roller coaster, I guess, not your newfangled ones they've probably got at the theme parks. Though I've been on those, too. It's the old wooden ones that are the best, though, because it could fall apart at any moment, and it shakes when it goes up the incline, and that's the one I picture with the roller coaster of life metaphor. Yes, someone lives in my brain. Hard to believe possible, I know. There's a point somewhere in there, or there was supposed to be. See, on a roller coaster, you're never at the top except for a second, or the bottom except at the beginning and end. It's not about the extremes - it's all about the ride. Or, trash these goddamn roller coasters all together and just take my mother's advice - it's not about the destination, but the journey. See, this master's degree thing. People keep asking, as they do, "what are you going to do with that?". And I don't. fucking. care. It's something I want to do, about things I want to learn and know everything about. And when I'm done, I'll be smarter than the losers who ask me what I'm going to do with it. Theoretically, anyway.
It seems that the world thinks that way now. That everything has to have a goal. That everything has to lead to something else, not just in a hazy, next step way, but with planned intention. Chatwin writes the world with his feet - each step is a word, each journey a chapter. Maybe I don't know where I'm going, but I'm going somewhere. ---- After avoiding everybody I know for weeks, maybe months, in the last seven days, I've seen practically everybody close to me. And I haven't imploded yet. And I've enjoyed myself. Must remember that other people aren't always the enemy. It's not always the man that brings you down. More often? It's yourself. --- Also? yes. 1:10 a.m. - 2003-05-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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