elegantwaste's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sisyphus would be better than this. My manager is worried about me, and honestly, I'm a little worried about me. This lack of anything, this stagnancy I wake up to each morning, is eating away at the good, funny, intelligent, good-natured parts of me. I think one day all that will be left is anger and bitterness. That is, unless I stop feeling sorry for myself and start doing things. In some way it's become almost a challenge, how long can I just exist, how many friends can I push away, how boring a person can I grow to be. But no. Today, it ends. My friend was visiting the last few days, from Seattle, and she told me sometimes the thing stopping you can be the littlest thing, but once you do that, you can't go beyond it. So yes. Finding that thing. In other news, I almost asked my ex-girlfriend home with me the other night, until I thought better of it, since, a) I don't actually want to go back to the way things were, b) she'd probably say no, and c) what, do I look that stupid? Go forward. Or stand in one place for a while. But going back never helps. 6:49 a.m. - 2003-02-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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