elegantwaste's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a break in levity for father issues. Last week, I was joking that I didn't know where my dad was and therefore shouldn't have to pay rent, hah! And it was funny. Now, though, I realized I haven't talked to him for 5 weeks. My dad recently moved out of the city to a small town, and he also owns another house in Manitoba, and he's been going back and forth. He doesn't have a phone in either place. So I never know where he is, and there's no way for us to get in touch with him. When he was home, he used to make me call him twice a week, or else he said he worried about me. Now that I can't call him - well, he sure doesn't seem to be worrying about me, since I haven't heard from him. But when my eldest brother called me today, saying he hasn't heard from him since July, I got scared. My dad's like a kid, but a 70 year old kid. He moved because he had too many girlfriends and couldn't break up with them. He can take care of himself, but, he's getting old, and has had a bunch of minor to major health problems in the last few years. He has people in Manitoba who know him and would call at least somebody who would hopefully call me or at least my brother, if something happened. He doesn't have anyone in BC, I don't think, in the town he lives in. And if something happened to him halfway between? I'm worried. I'm really worried. All of a sudden I want to panic cause I don't know where my daddy is. And I don't feel bad about it, because my brother (who is 28 years older than me) is worried. As much as I have father issues - he has never been here for me emotionally, even if he has monetarily, which is the only way that I think he knows how; I always want to please him; I love and I hate, odi et amo - I need him, at least to be able to talk to. Shit. 1:33 p.m. - 2002-09-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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