elegantwaste's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- five in the eys Here i am, on the track to becoming a prof, when all I do is hate and hate and hate my own profs. I hate that they are so fucking vindictive, and harsh, and use their grad students to make stupid points and to get back at their stupid profs who did the same thing to them five years ago. It's the young profs who are the ones to avoid. When they're older, they don't care, and will give you an A even if you do nothing. But then, for the young ones just graduated, you get the fangs and the bitterness. They have fun tearing you apart. They expect that you'll suck for the sole reason that then they'll have an excuse to do it. Being a non-confident person to begin with, it is not cool to get a prof who wants to prove something, and who takes your work and pisses all over it. I want to take this prof and piss all over him. So: I have three days, in which I also have a presentation and a Greek exam but that's just complaining, to whip my little paper into shape and make it fit this guy's fucking asinane standards. It's times like this when I seriously consider just giving him five in the eye, a kick in the balls, and running the hell away from this place, and its politics, and its feuding. Why in the hell do I want to continue in academia, when it is full of such bullshit? Bull. Shit. And don't even remind me how much I love the shit I'm learning, because, HAH. yeah. Other than that: I'm moving in with my girlfriend, and we're blissfully happy in a way I didn't know I could be. other than that - school and lover - I do nothing. My life is a void of studying, of latin and greek, ovid slavery and syracuse, kinship and ethnicity, barbarians and romans, and greeks sometimes, and bullshit profs (two of them!) and misogyny and favouritism and being slotted in the A- category - or if you're the asshole I'm talking about today, B category. I may be an A- student, and I have spent years adjusting to this fact, but there is no fucking way in hell I am a B student. Grrrrrrrrr. 1:56 p.m. - 2004-03-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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