elegantwaste's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- no silent prayer for the faith-departed Ain't nobody love you like I love you. Why is it most people's reaction, when I say I'm just trying to figure out what to do with my life, to offer suggestions? Look, I don't want your freakin' opinions or suggestions or ideas. It's my life. It's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive. It's. My. Life. (Props to Bon Jovi.) My mother, in her infinite wisdom and cuteness, sent me a package in the mail, filled with chocolate easter eggs and the cutest teddy bear ever. When I was little I was a bit of a teddy bear fiend, though now I just get the reject Starbucks bears that don't sell, but this one is so cute and soft. She put a note in that I should hug it whenevr I'm feeling bad. My mom offers solutions, sometimes, but mostly she just tells me I'm young and have time to figure it out. She didn't decide what to do with her life until she was 45 and divorced my father. I feel so old half the time, so much older than everyone around me, that it's hard to remember I'm only 22. Well, not that I'm 22, but. It's hard to remember that, if I'm lucky, maybe I'll be alive for 50 more years. And that's a long time. So if I don't apply this year to grad school - if I keep working at a going-nowhere job (though they want to promote me) - if I got a new job - if I just scrounged up whatever cash I have, loaned whatever cash I can, and took off for Europe - it won't be forever. And I have time. I maybe met a potential girlfriend the other night, too, which is interesting, but I'm not very excited about it. Which maybe is a good sign. Dunno. Now I'm gonna drink my tea and put on some eyeliner maybe and go to work and not think about this kind of thing. 5:55 a.m. - 2003-03-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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