elegantwaste's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a year in review. A year in review. The good: I graduated university, and without knowing it, even. I met some friends who I feel I've known forever, and who never, ever make me feel bad about myself. I wrote a novel in three days. I decided to take time off of life to work a silly job, and met some awesome people in the process. I managed to quit a couple self-destructive behaviour patterns. Oh yeah, and I saw some awesome concerts. I had some good times, with some cool people. The bad: Well, there's a lot of bad, actually, because 2002 was an especially hard year for me. And very little of it am I inclined to discuss, because, yes. But, there's the cancer, the family shit that just went down, the mental health issues, and the lack of positive decision making. I lost a few friends. I lost some self-respect. I didn't quit a couple more self-destructive behaviours. And there was so much indifference, most of the time I was drowning in it. However much more the bad seems to overwhelm the good this year, I think I've changed in beneficial ways. I know more about myself. I'm more confident in certain respects. I've let go of a few people who have only ever made me feel bad; I've gained a few people who do the opposite. I know better what I want out of this world, and what kind of people and what kind of behaviour can give it to me. So, 2003, all I have to ask you is to be better than 2002. I want to apply, get into, and go to grad school. I want to be healthy. I want to be mentally sound again. I want to distance myself from the child and become more like the adult. I want to make good decisions, and stick by them. I want to stop being afraid. 1:30 p.m. - 2002-12-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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