elegantwaste's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- advice. I just got back from seeing Nelly in concert. No, not Nelly fucking Furtado, motherfucker. The other one. And he was good! Totally good. It was a time. But the experience has given me a few words to say to the general public. And while I cannot address the entire crowd at tonight's event, since I am not qualified to be on a stage bigger than the one at my local karaoke bar, I think posting my words here will give me some closure. To Overweight Pre-Teen Girls: Do not wear a miniskirt with a belly-bearing one-shouldered top. It does not flatter you, sweetheart. You're beautiful just the way you are, and don't change unless for health reasons, but honey? No. Unfortunately, and I mean this, you are not Britney Spears. To White Boys Who Live In Vancouver: You are white. You live in a white town. You have no rhythm. When you dance the way you were dancing, you look like a retard. Also - please, no plaid. Also - please don't get your bling caught in my hair and then yank it out again. That hurt. To Young Women: You do not have to show your asscrack to be beautiful. You do not have to reveal your boobies to be attractive to men. You also, and this is important, you do not have to look like every other young woman in the world. If you want to forget the hairspray, or wear a sweater, or wear jeans that aren't so tight I can see the dimples in your ass, that's fine. You are not sheep. To The Young Women With Crimped Hair: No, sweethearts. I feel better now. The number of hoochies at this show was staggering. I was fortunately with 7 other non-hoochie, fun-having ladies dressed in normal clothes without enormous amounts of skin showing. Not that skin is bad. I liked looking at all the T&A. But geez! Every girl in the place looked the same. Individuality doesn't mean that you bought your clothes at a more exclusive store, honey. But. Concert was great, I adore my friends, I adore Nelly, and he sang his bit from 'Girlfriend'! it was exciting. 11:40 p.m. - 2002-12-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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