elegantwaste's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- dove, above, shove, love It's cold in my apartment. I have new shoes that I bought because I missed my girlfriend, who I had left on the bus about fifteen minutes earlier, and I wanted to sate my i-need-to-be-glued-to-her-side thing. I feel so full of her that I think I should be scared of it, and I think I should be running away, except that it's a good feeling. It's a happy, warm, sweet feeling. It's love. And so into love I go. She loves me too, which is almost hard to believe because I've never had that before - at least not somebody who tells me. We eat all the time, and work the rest of it, except when we're sleeping. We have the same class schedule, mostly, except on tuesdays when I either leave her in bed or she comes with me. We haven't slept apart in, um. I don't even know when. I don't want to sleep without her.
And you're all sighing and rolling your eyes and wishing I'd shut up, like I usually do about diary entries about how much in love someone is. Or maybe you think it's cute. My point, beyond the requisite and heartfelt iloveher, is that this is all new, and completely unlike me. I've been in love before, and it was like this, I guess, except bad and not good. There is such a thing as bad, painful, hurty love. And this isn't it. I thought for the longest time that the hurty love was all I could do. I've always been the cynical one that didn't believe love could be good, or was something to strive for, not when I was perfectly fine on my own, except that it's so nice to not be on my own. To have someone next to me at night, to rub my belly and scratch my back and kiss my neck and make love to me. And to have someone to do all those things back. And so, I haven't been writing in my diary because I think all my entries would be like this - schmoopy gross love stories that I am embarrassed to even post. Either that, or ranting about school. Which, GRR. yes. anyway. it's cold in my apartment, and cold outside, but i still feel warm. 5:06 p.m. - 2004-01-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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