elegantwaste's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- friendship; online life; a bar scene; misuses of semicolons. I'm not that great at making friends, either online or offline. I have a lot of friends, it's just that in almost every case, they made the effort, or I was brought into friendship through other friends. Becoming one of the 'work crew' is strange. The last two nights I've gone out with people from work, had some beers, had great conversations. And I can feel myself easing into friendship - the kind of friendship that goes beyond, maybe, the working environment. But for some reason, I feel like an outsider. I don't want to live my life online. And I haven't ever completely done that - but nonetheless, a big part of myself is here. In journals, in AIM conversations, in other people. And I like it. At the same time, I feel like it's restricting. Like there's this part of me when in a group of 'cool' people (regardless of how cool these people may actually be) that can't bring up the great journal I read this morning, or the website layout I'm working on, or my best friend who I've known for six years yet never met. I wouldn't leave anyone behind, because this world, this realm, it's an outlet I need. But I want to know more about different people. I want a bar scene. Because every story has to have a good bar scene, and I've never found mine yet. It sounds like the store has a bar scene. The Railway Club. Unrequited crushes, betrayals, cliques and past relationships. Threats and screams and games. As a wannabewriter, this all makes me rub my hands together in glee - there are so many stories within any one group of people. I love it. I get quiet at parties, at gatherings of more than four or five people, and this, too, makes it hard for people to get to know me and become friends, right? But a watcher is important - everything has to be written down, as it happens or as the writer sees it happening - if not, who is to say that anything happened at all? Rambling aside - I would like a bar scene; I would like a new crew of friends; I would like a scene, period -- though Melissa says there isn't one, here, not for dykes anyway; I would like to get laid, or maybe to fall in love, or maybe just have someone nearby who will go places with me and make me feel less alone all the time. 11:22 a.m. - 2002-07-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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